Monday, June 2, 2014

Got to Keep Moving

My mind sits paralyzed by the log jam of tasks that need attention today. The list is long and varied. Each task is a strand of wire that pulls me away from my center, like the cords that held Gulliver to the beach on the first island of his travels. The Lilliputians have won. I try, but can't move. 

I can't seem to sort it out, but I have to.

We are moving in two days.

I will return at the end of summer, but Megan will stay in New Mexico and her new teaching job in Zuni.

Today the cars need work; I need to pack tools for major construction (plumbing, wiring, insulating, sheet-rocking, messing around with fixtures, and on and on) at the New Mexico house; I will visit Wisconsin and dip into family drama; I need to make arrangements for the Tucson house sitter; my bank account is no match for upcoming expenses; babies are being born; friends are dying; I am disappointing everyone with my excessive busyness.

The brain just stalls when confronted with the array of tasks, the chaos.

This is not what I want, not how I want to live, how I want to spend my summer.

Can't think that way. It only makes things worse. 

I step back and freeze. I don't feel able to engage.

Get up, a voice says. Make a list and get going. Even one thing done is better than nothing.

Keep moving. Movement is life.

I just hope the brain will catch up.

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